


Love Shouldn't Hurt

by WhimsyNeptune



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Running Away, injuries, sad kara, sad lena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-10 12:02:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20527721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsyNeptune/pseuds/WhimsyNeptune
Summary: After accidentally hurting Lena, Kara is devastated and does the only thing she can think of to do... Run.***I originally wrote this in the very beginning of season 3, but deleted it. I've now revised it a bit and decided to repost it. I hope you enjoy!***





	1. Chapter 1

They’d been dating a year and four months when it_ finally_ happened, their make out session had ended up with Lena beneath Kara, who was fervently kissing her, then they were both naked, and before Lena knew it, three fingers were inside of her as Kara’s left hand, held Lena’s arms above her head.

Lena was writhing in pure bliss when she felt and heard a painful snap in her wrist.

She let out a yelp of utter agony, when Kara flew off of her, with a wide-eyed expression of pure terror. “L-Lena, are you alright?”

“I-I think my wrist is broken.” Lena grimaced.

Without another word Kara scanned Lena’s wrist to confirm that Lena’s wrist was severely fractured, “Oh, Rao, Lena... I’m so sorry. I thought that I was under control. I-I never meant for this to happen.” She cried as she scooped Lena up into her arms and flew her towards the hospital.

**XXX**

Kara was devastated. She had never meant to hurt Lena, she’d only wanted to give her the best sexual experience of her life, and all she had managed to do was break her wrist.

_I don’t deserve her._

**XXX**

Lena was proud of it…. Her first sex injury. She laughed at the mere thought of it, but she knew she’d have the most epic bragging rights around.

The cast was a bit tacky, but the pain was managed well with a low dose of morphine, and now she’d get to have Kara take care of her for the next few weeks. It was a win-win situation to her, until she stepped out into the waiting room to see Kara crying alone in the corner of the room… That was not what she had expected.

“Kara? Baby, what’s wrong? Did something happen?” Lena asked, not even remotely believing this could be about her wrist.

“I hurt you!” Kara cried. “God, Lena. I hurt you and you act like it’s nothing. How can you even look at me?”

Lena’s heart broke… Kara blamed herself for this. _Of course_ she did. That was Kara. “Baby… it was an accident. You didn’t mean to. It wasn’t your fau-,”

“It _is_ my fault!” Kara cried. “If I hadn’t… If I hadn’t got so caught up in enjoying myself I wouldn’t have hurt you!”

Lena frowned. “We were making love, Kara. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you’re in that situation. Losing yourself is part of the process.”

Kara shook her head. “No. Not for me it isn’t. I don’t get to lose myself. When I do that, people get hurt.”

All Lena could feel in that moment was sadness. Sadness for Kara. Sadness because the love of her life felt like she couldn’t be a normal person because of the powers so many took for granted each time she saved the city from another disaster.

It made sense now why Kara didn’t want to have sex with her. Lena had thought it was because she wasn’t attracted to her sexually, and although that killed her inside, she was okay with it because Kara still wanted to be with her… But this was the most heartbreaking news she could have ever heard.

Kara Danvers felt like she wasn’t allowed to be human; and that was something Lena Luthor wouldn’t let stand… not without a fight at least. “Kara, baby… It’s okay. You and I can figure this out later, right now, can we just please go home?”

Kara wiped away her tears and nodded, but she refused to grab Lena’s good hand, and that killed the CEO more than she thought it would. She knew it was because Kara was scared. She knew that it had nothing to do with a lack of love; yet it still destroyed her inside.

**XXX**

The cab ride home was silent, the walk up the stairs was even quieter, and as soon as they entered Lena’s penthouse, the brunette knew something was off.

She turned around slowly, scared she might spook Kara, and found the hero caved in on herself. She swallowed back her worry. “Kara?” She asked gently. “Baby, please don’t be upset. I kind of like the cast.”

Kara shook her head. “No you don’t.” She cried. “You hate the cast, Lena. How are you supposed to work with that on? You can’t type. You’re right handed so now you can’t write either. This is all my fault.”

Lena shook her head. “It takes two to make love, Kara.”

Kara shook her head, tears falling from her eyes. “BUT I HURT YOU!” She yelled exasperatedly. I was the one that caused all of this; and it’s sad to say, but we’re _lucky_ that it was just your wrist. It could have been your whole arm, your neck, your ribs, your _back_ even.” Kara was sobbing. “Lena, every day I live life like I’m an elephant in a world full of ants. One misstep, one mistake, and I could kill someone, or even the entire planet. I have to hold back so much, all day, every day, and now I realize that it’s unfair of me to put you through that with me. You deserve someone that can be gentle without having to physically restrain themselves. I love you with every piece of me, Lena… I can’t imagine how painful life will be without you, but I don’t deserve you, and you deserve someone that can give you everything you ever dreamed of and then some. I can’t, wish to Rao that I could, but I can’t, so this is the last you’re ever going to hear from me… at least for a little while. Until I hear that you’ve found someone better. I’ll always love you, Lena.”

Kara turned to walk away, but Lena wasn’t about to let her go so easily. The thought of losing Kara made her sick to her stomach, made her heart rip apart at it’s already tattered seams, and made her mind scramble to find the right words to say to keep Kara there with her. “Kara Zor-El, where the hell do you think you’re going? I know where you live, I know where your family lives, I know where all of your secret hideouts are, and I know how to get to Argo City if you plan on going there. Wherever you plan on going, I will find you because there is no one on this planet, or any other that I could possibly love as much as I love you. I don’t care if we never have sex again, I just want you.”

Kara smiled tearfully. “I want you too, baby. I do… but I can’t have you without hurting you. I can’t have a red sun lamp following me 24/7, and Kryptonite kills me… So, the only way to make sure you are safe is for me to be as far away from you as I possibly can be.”

Lena grabbed onto Kara, “Please don’t leave me, Kara. I couldn’t handle it.” She cried.

Kara gently disentangled herself from Lena, and smiled sadly. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to survive this either, Lena… but I’ll check up on you, I swear. You’ll always be safe.”

Before Lena could beg Kara to stay again, Kara was gone, and Lena was left alone with a fractured wrist, and a broken heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where do you think Kara went?


	2. Chapter 2

Kara’s heart was obliterated. She’d hurt the woman she loved more than life itself, and it killed her to know that she was a hazard to Lena.

She flew around aimlessly as tears fell from her eyes until she thought of the only place where she wouldn’t be at risk of hurting anyone.

The only place no one more secretive than the D.E.O… And she headed straight for it.

**XXX**

Lena had looked every where.

Kara’s Apartment, CatCo, L-Corp, Alex’s apartment, Noonan’s, the Alien Bar… _Everywhere_, and there was still no trace of Kara to be found.

“Alex, I’ve searched everywhere, and I can’t find her. Do you think she went to Metropolis?”

Alex sighed over the phone. “I think that where ever she went she made sure that we couldn’t find her. The tracking device I put in her boot isn’t working, and the one I secretly put in the hem of her suit stopped working too. She’s hiding, and where ever she is, I can’t find her.”

Lena’s heart ached. All she wanted was to talk to Kara, to tell her that she wasn’t a threat to anyone but herself, and that they would work together to find a way to prevent Kara from ever accidentally hurting another person again.

“We will find her, Alex. We have to.” Lena said before disconnecting the call.

“Kara, I know you can hear me.” She said to no one in particular. “So please come back. I’m not angry with you, I’m just devastated that I can’t hold you. Please come home, Kara. Please.”

**XXX**

It’d been over a month since Kara vanished, and Lena wanted more than anything for Kara to come back. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat, she couldn’t think about anything but finding a way back to Kara. After the first two weeks of searching, Lena finally decided that no matter how painful it may be, the only option was to wait it out. Kara had said she’d be back, and although it was the most painful thing imaginable to do, Lena had to trust her on that.

So, during those the next few weeks, Lena set out to make a device that wouldn’t alter Kara’s DNA. She wanted something that wouldn’t take away her bulletproof skin or her super-durability, wouldn’t prevent her from flying or using her laser vision, and wouldn’t turn her human; but would still dampen her senses and strength enough that Kara could feel human.

So far the only thing she had been able to make was a variant of kryptonite that would make Kara lose her super vision, and her strength… Not what she had in mind.

“Kara, if you can hear me, please come home.” She tried again as the pit in her stomach only grew larger… If she failed to succeed at finding a way to dampen Kara’s strength when she wasn’t Supergirl, there was no chance Kara would ever come back to her, so she needed to hurry.

**XXX**

Kara wanted nothing as much as she wanted to engulf Lena in a tight hug and never let her go. To hold her, and kiss her, and make her understand why she’d left… but she couldn’t, she’d just hurt her.

So she sat there and watched the surveillance of the town, making sure to keep an extra sharp eye out for any disturbance at L-Corp or Lena’s penthouse so she could immediately send Clark… Superheroing was over for her… All she did was continue to hurt the people that she loved.

**XXX**

“You said that she told you she’d come back when you moved on, right?”

Lena gritted her teeth and nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat as she did so. Maybe telling her close friends everything, hadn’t been the best idea. “That’s what she said… which means she’s never coming back, because I could never move on.”

Sam rose her brow. “Go on a date with me, Lena.”

Lena glared at Sam. “No. You know she was always insecure about our past, Sam. I would nev-,”

“It’s _pretend_, Lena; and not to mention believable. You moved on from the ex that abandoned you and went back to the ex that you abandoned. She’d believe it and come back to be ‘friends’ and then you could tell her what an idiot she’s being.”

Lena glared. “She isn’t being an idiot. She’s being the hero she thinks she has to be.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Whatever. What do you say? Date night?”

Lena fiddled petulantly. “No kissing, no touching, and no innuendos. I’m Kara’s through and through.”

Sam huffed. “Unfortunately.” She muttered under her breath.

**XXX**

They were dressed to the nines, walked the long way to the restaurant, and made sure to get an outside table… to make sure that Kara saw, wherever she may be.

“Do you think she sees us?” Sam whispered.

Lena felt dirty even pretending to be on a date with another woman, so she sadly nodded her head. “I don't know... I hope not.” She murmured guiltily.

**XXX**

The Uber ride home had been less than happy. Sam was silent, Lena was silent, but the driver, Lucinda, was more than happy to give them all the best relationship advice she could offer.

“You two look beautiful together, all though I think the pretty brunette over here is having some doubts, so I think it’s time for you to step up your game little missy, because losing her would be a loss indeed.”

Sam smirked. “Oh, heavens. I’d be beside myself if I lost her.”

Lena scoffed and rolled her eyes playfully, knowing exactly what she was playing at.

**XXX**

“It was an amicable break up, Sam.” Lena said as she gave Sam her glass of wine. They were on Lena’s patio, having a recap of the night.

Sam laughed. “It would’ve been if you hadn’t disappeared immediately after it happened. But now… I’m not so sure.”

“Is she right?” Lena sighed. “Do you still have feelings for me? Does she have a reason to be jealous?”

Sam scooted closer to Lena, and fiddled with her hair. “I don’t know… Does she?” She whispered before leaning in.

Just before their lips touched, there was a thud on the balcony, and Sam frowned at Lena and sighed. “I told you this would work.”


	3. Chapter 3

With a racing heart full of euphoria for Kara’s return, Lena turned around to face the person she loved most… Only to be faced with the _wrong _Kryptonian.

“If you kiss her you’ll never win Kara back.” Clark said. “I know that she hurt you, Lena… but you didn’t just make her jealous tonight. You absolutely destroyed her. She didn’t come herself because she knew that you had every right to be with someone new, but that doesn’t change the fact that this petty little act of yours broke her heart.”

Lena couldn’t fight the tears. “Where is she? Just take me to her. I’ll explain everything there. I-I didn’t want to do this, but-,”

Clark shook his head. “But you did.” He stated angrily. “Look, I’m not trying to put blame on anyone, but I know how it feels when you accidentally hurt the love of your life with your superpowers… Superpowers that you were cursed with without your consent. She hates herself right now, and the only way for you to help her through that is to show her that she _isn’t_ disposable. That you’re willing to fight for her… Kara hasn’t been on earth as long as I have. She hasn’t had many relationships, and certainly not one as serious as the one she had with you.”

Lena frowned. “The one she _has_ with me.” She corrected.

Clark nodded. “Right.” He rolled his eyes. “regardless of your relationship status at the moment; it doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t know how to control her powers in the.. heat of the moment… Just like I was with Lois in the beginning. She needs patience, understanding, and your trust and undying love. She’s devastated by what she did, and she’s destroyed because of this stunt you tried to pull… I could see through it, but all she could see was you moving on from her within a month’s time… Not good on the heart. Kara isn’t like me, she won’t get over this, and she will never trust herself again, so the only thing I can think of that will bring her back is if you figure out a way to make her less threatening to those around her unless she needs to be Supergirl. I know that you’re even smarter than your brother, so you will find a way.”

“Where is she?” Lena pleaded.

Clark sighed, “She’s with someone I begged her not to contact. I hate that she’s there, but it isn’t my secret to tell.” Without a single word more, he lifted off into the sky.

Lena pinched her temples and lowered her head. “I knew this wasn’t a good idea.”

**XXX**

Lena didn’t know where to go or who to turn to, all she knew was that Alex wanted Kara back just as much as Lena did, so she drove to her Apartment building and hurried to Alex’s door.

“Alex, I need your help.” Lena declared as soon as Alex opened the door. “Clark knows where Kara is. He said she begged her not to contact whoever it is she’s with, but he refused to tell me anything more.”

Alex glared. “I heard what you did, bad move, Lena. Bad. Move.”

Lena’s heart ripped just a little more at the disapproval in Alex’s tone. “I know, Alex. I fucked up, but I was just trying to get Kara back. I need her. More than anything.”

Alex sighed and nodded. “I know. But that was the wrong way to go about it. Kara doesn’t get jealous, if she thinks you’re interested in someone else she’ll back off and let you be with that person.”

Lena’s heart yearned to make this up to Kara. She hated that she hurt her. “She’s too selfless for her own good.”

“Which is why she left in the first place, Lee.” Alex reminded, using the nickname to soften the emotional blow. “She loves you so much that she wants you to be safe from anything that can hurt you… even if that thing is herself. I don’t know where Clark is hiding Kara, I’ve tried and failed at finding out multiple times, but whatever I can do to help, I will do because I miss my sister too.”

“I need you to think of any and every one that Kara knows… Is there anyone that you could think of that could hide Kara so well she couldn’t be found? Anyone?”

Alex’s eyes lit up. “There’s only one person in the world that knows both Clark, and Kara’s identity and has the means to go incognito for months.”

Lena’s hopeful excitement rose. She was finally getting somewhere.

**XXX**

Lena stepped unannounced into Bruce Wayne’s, Wayne Enterprise Office a little after noon the next day. Surprisingly, however, the man seemed to be expecting her.

“So. _You’re_ Lena.” He said with an arched brow.

Lena swallowed, unnerved by the entire situation. “Where is she?” Was all that she could manage to say.

He let out a long breath. “I wasn’t going to tell you, but after the stunt you pulled, she needs to know you still only love her.”

He took out a pen and a scrap of paper and wrote something on it. “This is where she is.” He told her as he offered her the address. “But remember, Miss. Luthor, she’s at a very delicate point at the moment… and I’ve been working with her to remove her superpowers, so she is weak.”

Lena’s heart sank to the floor, and her stomach churned at what he’d just implicated. “What have you done to her?”

Bruce sighed. “She insisted… So don’t come after me. I wanted to try other means first, but she demanded we go straight to different variants of Kryptonite.”

Lena let out a sob… Kara had been torturing herself for over a month… just to try to make sure she never hurt Lena again. “I… I can’t let her keep doing that to herself.”

“I know.” Bruce admitted. “You love her, but if I’ve learned anything over the past four weeks, it’s that she loves you too.”

Lena let out a whimper. “I have to go.” She asserted, turning on her heels and rushing to the door. As soon as she reached it, however, she turned around. “Oh… and Mr. Wayne, I don’t know how you got your hands on Kryptonite. I don’t really care either, but if I ever find out that you used any form of it on my girlfriend again, I will **_end_** you.”

**XXX**

On the ride to the address, Lena hadn’t the slightest idea what she was going to say to Kara. There were so many things running rampantly through her mind that she wasn’t sure what to say first; but as she stepped out and onto the grand front porch steps there was only one thing that she could think to say…

_Kara, I love you._

She used the large knocker to knock on the door and was greeted by a man who also seemed to expect her. “Right this way Madame.” He instructed with his hands to turn left down a long hallway, with multiple doors.

“Last door on the right.” He informed before leaving her to her own devices.

Lena gulped, her heart beginning to pound.

She was terrified of what she was about to see… Was Kara going to even be recognizable after all the pain and torture she’d gone through? Would she even be happy to see her? Would she want Lena to leave? Would she hate Lena for the stunt she pulled with Sam?

God, she hoped not… She knew that the fake date was a mistake, especially with it being Sam the one she went with.

She knocked on the door the butler instructed her toward, and waited… Only to hear a weak yet familiar voice call back. “It’s open, Alfred.”

Lena inhaled deeply and let it out slowly before she opened the door and walked in to see a sight that was devastating to see. Kara was lying on a bed, pale and frail. With sunken eyes and ashen skin. Her hair was in a messy bun and her glasses were crooked on her face.

“Baby… Oh my god.” She cried out before she cupped a hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.

“I-It’s fine Lena. I-I’m fine and I don’t have any powers right now. It’s working. This is the first one that took them away without almost killing me. I can’t hurt you, please don’t be afraid.” Kara replied weakly.

Lena let out a sob and prepared herself to tell Kara just how horrifying that sentence was, when Kara spoke again. “How did you find me?”

“I’ll always find you, Kara. I can’t live without you and I could _never _fear you… Just fear _for_ you.”

Kara had tears in her eyes as she shook her head. “No. You have Sam.”

“I don’t have her, and I don’t want her, baby. It’s you, it’s always been you.” Lena replied earnestly.

“Y-You went on a date. You kissed!” Kara refuted.

Lena shook her head, desperate to get Kara to listen to her. “No. I didn’t kiss her, I wouldn’t have let that happen, and if it did I would have pulled away immediately. You’re the only person allowed to touch these lips. They’re yours and only yours, and they miss you.”

Kara folded her arms over her chest and pouted petulantly. “That’s not what it looked like from my point of view.”

“Baby, it was a _fake_ date. I don’t love her anymore… and I **_never_** loved her the way that I love you. You’re the only person in the world that I’d travel halfway across the country to find. You’re the love of my life!” Lena’s heart felt as if it were being burned alive when Kara’s face didn’t light up at the title.

“A love of your life wouldn’t break your wrist.” Kara said with tears in her eyes.

Lena deflated, her heart yearning for a time machine to prevent this all from ever happening. “I know you hate yourself right now.” She admitted. “I hate myself now too for going on that damn fake date. For making you believe I could ever get over you… But We can work through this, we can find a way to make you less of a threat to the people you love, but you can’t keep poisoning yourself. This isn’t okay, you’re _dying!_”

Kara shrugged. “I hurt you, Lena.”

“You’re hurting me **_NOW_** Kara! Can’t you see how devastated I am? I can’t lose you, but here you are, almost killing yourself, and for what? What Kara? I’d rather you break a bone in my body every time we kissed, than for you to die. Can’t you see that? I love you. I love you so much that I can barely breathe when you aren’t around. I can’t focus, I can’t sleep, and all I do is cry and try to figure out a way to get you back. You aren’t accomplishing anything but breaking my heart, Kara… And let me tell you, the pain in my heart is twice as bad as the pain in my wrist when you fractured it.”

Kara sat up, grimacing as she did so, before she went over to the Entertainment center and pushed a button on it, turning it into a type of security guard system. It had twenty monitors lined up of the entire town, four focused solely on L-Corp, and five on Lena’s apartment building, the rest switching to different parts of National City every few seconds.

“I never left you.” Kara said. “I told you I would always keep you safe.”

Lena shook her head. “That’s not enough! I know that you have every reason to be hurt about what I did with Sam, but do you not see what your absence has done to me? It’s left me a mess, Kara… I’m nothing without you!”

Kara walked over to Lena and cradled her face in her hands, sending butterflies and hope swimming through Lena. “I know it hurts, baby. It’s killing me too, but I’m just trying to do what’s best for you.”

“_You_ are what’s best for me, Kara. Let me take you home, nurse you back to health, let your sister beat your ass for disappearing, and then let’s find a way to make things better for us all, okay? Can we do that? Please?”

Kara shook her head. “I’m not what’s best for you, _she_ is, and everyone can see it but you.”

Lena shook her head rapidly her heart aching as she realized just how badly she’d hurt the love of her life. “I didn’t realize it would hurt you this badly, Kara. But you _have_ to realize that you are the one that I love and want to spend eternity with. You’re the one I want to love until my dying breath, and _you’re_ the one that is best for me. You’ve saved my life so many times as both Kara _and_ as Supergirl. You must realize how amazing that it. One little accident doesn’t mean that you’re instantly a monster. I still love you, your friends and family still love you. The world still loves Supergirl. You didn’t instantly turn evil the moment you accidentally broke my wrist. You are still perfect for me in every way, and I will work nonstop to make it easier for you to feel safe around the people you love, but please don’t take yourself away from us… away from _me_. Come home with me.”

Kara bit her lip for a moment and then nodded. “Okay… but we can’t be together though, Lena… Not while I’m still a threat to you.”

Sadness overwhelmed Lena… She just wanted her girlfriend back. “Kara, please. You _aren’t_ a threat to me, and you _aren’t _going to hurt me. If anything we can continue our relationship without sex… We went over a year without it, and I can go eternity without it if the need be, but I will work endlessly to make sure that it doesn’t come to that. I will find a way to make you feel safer around your loved ones. So please, Kara… Come back to me.”

Kara pondered everything Lena said before she sighed and nodded. “Alright, we can try, but I’m not going to touch you when I get my powers back so-,” She leaned in and kissed Lena passionately, taking her breath away. “There.” She said with a small smile.

Lena knew that there was a lot to work out between them, she knew that Kara was hurt about what (didn’t but appeared to) happen with Sam, and that in time she would have to make amends for that lapse in judgement, but she also knew, well, she _hoped_, that things would be better soon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can follow me on twitter at @SuperCatKarLena
> 
> and Instagram at @whimsy_neptune

Lena huffed out in frustration… She’d been trying to handle not being able to touch Kara for the past week, but being able to see the love of her life without being able to cuddle, hug, or kiss her was becoming agonizing.

So, while Kara was away being Supergirl she called the one person that could relate to Kara the most about this situation.

“Hello?” Answered Clark.

“Why can’t you just tell her how you control your powers? Then she can use whatever you do and we can go from there.”

Clark chuckled. “Well hello to you too, Lena.”

Lena huffed. “This isn’t funny. It’s been two weeks and she hasn’t touched me once. I don’t even know if we’re together or not, and this entire situation is bullshit. What happened wasn’t her fault.”

“Lena.” Clark sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you that even if my method worked for Kara, Kara doesn’t care. She wants the threat to be eliminated completely. There are still some instances where I _do_ still hurt Lois, not as badly as the first time, but it’s still scary, it still breaks my heart, and the risk is still huge. Kara loves you too much to put you through that, and now that she’s messed up she’s terrified she’ll hurt someone else. She has a bigger heart than me, and that is something I’ve never hidden.  
As long as there is a risk that she could hurt you, or Alex, or someone else that she loves, she won’t do anything but exist around you. She’s had her powers under control for years, but now that she knows it isn’t 100% effective, she doesn’t trust herself.”

Lena sighed, “I miss her. I miss _us._”

“I know you do.” Clark replied sympathetically. “I know you do, and I’m sorry that you both have to go through this, but I understand Kara’s logic, and if I ever hurt Lois as badly as I did the first time again, I’d probably do the same. To humans our powers are miracles, but to us, our powers are curses. Just keep that in mind.”

Lena frowned but nodded in defeat, “Okay.” She replied begrudgingly. “I’ll keep working.”

**XXX**

Lena opened Kara’s loft door with her spare key and walked in, happy to see Kara again, but when she heard the sound of sobbing coming from the kitchen, her happiness was overtaken by worry. “Kara?” She asked as she rushed towards the kitchen.

She reached the kitchen just in time to see Kara’s head whip up from her knees as she sat against the counter. “Lena you weren’t supposed to be here for another hour.” Kara cried. “I-I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

Lena shook her head and pulled out a contraption she’d successfully built. “This is a red sun lamp.” She started. “It will light up every room in this house so that we can cuddle, kiss… or something else… without the risk of you hurting me. I know that you’re going to say this isn’t’ going to solve the issue when we’re outside, and you’re right, but for now, can we please just… let me hold you because seeing you like this is destroying me.”

Kara swallowed. “We can’t just keep our relationship inside, Lena… that’s not how a relationship should be. You deserve so much better than this.”

Lena shook her head, refusing to let Kara talk about herself like she wasn’t the best damn person in the multiverse. “It doesn’t get _any _better than you.”

“Lena, I-I can’t give you what you deserve.”

“Do I deserve happiness?” Lena asked, her heart breaking with every moment that Kara talked down about herself.

Kara squinted as if taken aback by the question. “Of course you do, Lee. More than anyone.”

“Then you already give me what I deserve.” Lena asserted. “Please, for five minutes, just touch me.”

Kara bit her lips. “You’re sure that will take my powers away completely?”

Lena nodded. “One hundred percent certain.”

Kara gave a curt nod. “Okay.”

Lena’s heart did a backflip. She was _finally_ going to be able to feel Kara’s skin again. She set the lamp on the counter in front of Kara and opened it up, illuminating the kitchen and living room, before she offered Kara her hand to help her up.

Kara accepted the offered hand and stood up, smiling as she embraced Lena in a tight hug. “I’ve missed you.”

Lena’s stomach filled with butterflies as she reveled in Kara’s embrace. “I’ve missed you more.”

**XXX**

They were cuddled on the couch when Lena finally got the courage to ask the question that she had been wanting to ask for weeks.

“What are we?”

Kara looked down at Lena and met her eyes with a kind smile. “Kara and Lena, or Karlena as the tabloids say.”

Lena frowned and shook her head. “Please… don’t joke, I need to know. Are we… together?”

“In this moment what else would we be?” Kara smiled wider.

Lena huffed. “Kara, are you my girlfriend?”

Kara averted her eyes. “You almost kissed Sam.”

The pain in Kara’s voice was almost enough to break Lena.

She knew this moment would come, she knew that playing with Kara’s emotions, especially the ones about Sam, would cause more issues than help. She hated herself for this. “But I didn’t… I _wouldn’t_.”

Kara shook her head. “You would have. Your eyes were closed, you wanted it… I know you.”

Lena was about to panic… Clark was right, Kara had seen everything. “NO!” She shook her head fervently. “I wanted her to be you, Kara. Only you make my heart skip beats. Only you send fireworks through my entire body with just one touch or kiss. It’s only you. Always you.”

Kara sighed. “I want to believe you, but actions speak louder than words. I love you Lena, and it kills me that you and Sam have chemistry.”

Lena shook her head tearfully. “I’m sorry.” She cried. “I’m so, so, sorry. I knew that picking Sam was a bad idea, I know how it bothers you, how you think she still has feelings for me, but I don’t care if she does. I just want you, Kara. Whether it’s only ever inside, or not.”

Kara shook her head. “I’m not human, Lena. I’ll never be able to give you the things that Sam could, and I think a part of you knows that and that’s why what happened between you, happened. You deserve more than a relationship that has to be confined to four walls. I want to be with you more than anything, Lena, but I can’t. For so many reasons.”

Lena’s heart sank… she wasn’t sure she _could_ find a solution to make it ‘safe’ to be around Kara outside of the apartment… Not a permanent one at least. “Kara… please. I haven’t felt anything for Sam in so long that I don’t even remember what it felt like to _have_ feelings for her. You give me more in these four walls than Sam could give me in a lifetime because you fill my soul. She doesn’t. Please don’t do this, I miss you. I miss our relationship.”

Kara pulled Lena up just enough so that she could connect their lips in a zealous kiss. “If you still feel this way about Sam and I after you figure out a permanent way to prevent me from hurting you, I promise you we can talk more about this… Until then I want you to be safe.”

Lena wiped away her tears, hope and determination filling her heart. “Promise me that if and when I find a solution to our problem, you won’t still refuse to be with me because you feel like Sam is better for me.”

“I promise it won’t be because of that,” Kara said.

“What other possible reason could there be for you to not want to get back with me? You said you love me, that you want to be with me, and both feelings are mutual, so what is it?” Lena asked, desperate to try to fix everything between them.

Kara shrugged. “I think it’s possible that because it’s been so long ago you don’t recognize that you have feelings for Sam… And I don’t want to be the other woman ever again.”

Lena shook her head. “Kara you know that’s not what that was. That was a stupid, ignorant mistake that I should have never made. Sam and I have been over for years and will be over forever because I want _you_.”

Kara rose her hand gently to cup Lena’s face. “And I want you, Lena. But we have to make sure that I’m actually the best option for you.”

Lena covered Kara’s hand and leaned her cheek into it. “You’re the _only_ option for me, and I will prove that to you in anyway that I have to… and I _will_ find a way to make you less of a threat to the ones you love. Okay?”

Kara smiled lovingly at Lena. “We’ll see.” She said.

Lena sighed defeatedly, but she wasn’t giving up… Kara hadn’t said no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will Lena and Kara be able to find a middle ground??


End file.
